I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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