Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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