So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
