Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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