just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Quick, to the slutcave!
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl