it wasn't lemon gatorade
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple