You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
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wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
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If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.