I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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