He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
