you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
