carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
this boner is exhausting
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.