Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Randomize
Follow @tfln