Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize