I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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