Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
