I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Someone came in the potted fern
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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