jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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