He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
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Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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