he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
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The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
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Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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