I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
