there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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