I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Shame - the story of my life.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
