Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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