Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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