new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I had to cum in my sink.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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