sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
