Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
