i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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