shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
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I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
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Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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