SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
