If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
