There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
