He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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