I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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