I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
