hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
