dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just cropdusted the office
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
