no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
