After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
