i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
