May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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