Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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