so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
