so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
