Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
