Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
dude i'm inner monologue high
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
