I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
