So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
