just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize