Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
