if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
