It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he told me I talked like a deaf person
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
