we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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