I looked at my own cervix.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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