pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
