If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
