The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I intend to get homeless drunk
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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