P.S. I can't hear my feet
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
