I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
