Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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