we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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