Already got asked if we're dating
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
